So your about to become a school Mum!
It’s like becoming a mum for the first time all over again.
To help you out I am about to give you a survival guide for the first year. You are welcome.
Firstly, you need to establish what sort of school mum you are going to be because I am a Jessica and if you aren’t then this blog will be no help to you.
You can find out what sort of school mum you are in the list below:
Okay Hello fellow Jessica’s.
Let’s jump straight into it but first coffee, right?
You’ll probably find you start all guns blazing for the first 2 weeks then it’s pretty much down hill from there.
Yep I was killing school mum life, making lunches the night before, checking his diary every day, walking my lazy ass there and back for drop off and pick up. Then I fell off the wagon and the wagon was never seen again.
Lunches became a rushed morning chore, we drove more times then we walked and breakfast club became a hot favourite ( more about that below), but don’t fear I NEVER went without my drive thru morning coffee.
My number one BIGGEST tip for the year is find yourself a school mum who falls under either TIFFANY or SUSAN because those bitches are going to save your arse more than a few times by years end. AMEN SISTER
Mine came in the for of a LUKE a school dad, yep school dad’s are a real thing not just a mystical creature MIND BLOWN.
Now all schools are different but if your school has breakfast club USE IT. It means I can drop the kids off half an hour earlier every morning and I don’t have to feed any of them can you say WINNING.
Cheat guide to newsletters:
I learnt very quickly the importance of newsletters when Jasper was one of the only kids walking out of school in uniform on his first casual dress day whoops. So, from that day forward every newsletter (I still didn’t read them) I went straight for the back page that listed any must know dates, ripped it off and placed it right on front of the fridge. No more casual dress days were missed. Holla….
Find a car space that’s easy for them to walk to so you don’t have to get out of the car like EVER…(I mean ill blame this on my laziness of having to get all the other kids out of the car but really it just doesn’t tickle my fancy to stand around awkwardly with other parents. Yep I’m unsocial but my social anxiety is a whole other story.
Readers: I have found doing readers in the morning is way more relaxed. After school is just a no-go zone, whatever you do don’t ask them what they did at school. School is the last thing they want to talk about, just let them come home and do what they want whether its play outside or sit with the iPad JUST LET THEM. They have been using their little brains and manners all day they need to release in their own way. Mostly this means they will be little shits for us once they are home unfortunately.
Having a snack box and lunch box was a winner for us. Jasper didn’t grasp the concept of saving half for lunch he would eat all food at recess …. Which made for one very hungry little dude by 330pm. On the subject make sure nothing is packaged if it does have package remove it before packing it.
An absolute must know is that you have to get winter uniforms NOW. It seems all department stores bring the track pants and jumpers out for back to school and then shove them right back in the store room until next year. Do NOT get stuck like me. Get them in the size they are now and a size up.
Labels why fucking bother, shit WILL get lost and you will NEVER see it again whether it has their name labelled on it 100 times or 0 times its GONEEEEEEEE.
School bag the bigger the better, I got jasper a cute backpack and lunch box set from Stuck on You and it fit his lunch box and that was all. Useless. I remember him walking out one day with his backpack on his back, reader bag in one hand, bucket hat around his neck, school work flapping around in his other hand from the wind, it was so funny, never fear SUSAN was helping him get to the car that I was sitting in while watching him struggle ha-ha. Seriously SUSAN is a legend.
Invest in good quality sneakers or school shoes, their little feet will be in these all day everyday make sure they are well supported. And if they can’t tie shoes laces get Velcro this will save you time in the mornings.
School isn’t daycare, the teachers will not apply sunscreen to all the kids before play time, so pack sunscreen in their bags and if you know its going to be a hot sunny day apply it before school.
Show up to at least one school thing, their little faces when they see you is priceless. And for the love of god DO NOT miss their end of year concert (all the heart eyes)
Being a new school mum is a whole new level of parenting, and for my fellow Jessica’s out there we will forget notes, money, raffle tickets but will get our kids to school every morning and still have time for our drive thru coffee AMEN… so sisters I hope this helps in some way and for me my goal for my second year of school mum life is to find SARAH and get this Mums Night Out under way cause Mumma needs a drink.
Happy School year MUMMAS
Here’s to Class of 2020